phillips4的部落格

I was completely girlish when You gave me the endowment for writing, Father. I know You anticipate Your brood to use the talents You make available to them. But in the inside of my pain, I've had no hanker to be in contact. I have inverted my rear on Your bequest and wallowed in self-pity. My slogan has been "Why me?"

Recently, I've go to agnize You're saying, "Why not you, Child? Aren't you moving a race? Aren't You in homework for infinity near Me? People in preparation essential predict time to be harder. How can you foresee to win the contest if you wimp out during the training? Olympic contenders don't have example for self-pity! They impoverishment to win, so they permit injury, fatigue, isolation, betrayal, and anything or whoever tries to sabotage them."

I always end up rear at this point, don't I? I useless clip complaining, massaging my ego, and basic cognitive process my own excuses for quitting. It seems to trace a instance of comparison myself to those in the region of me. The subtlety I topographic point is that I am Yours. I am supposed to be in the world, but not of the planetary. As a fighter in Your army, I cannot similitude myself to civilians. Why haven't I seen this before? Perhaps I was not transistorized to get this discovery until now.

Oh, Father. Scripture after bible has been active through with my state of mind and I'm uncomfortable of my self-absorption. "To whom by a long chalk is given, more is necessary." You expect me to place my talent, not lay to rest it out of fear! You have me in habituation for a difficult task.

You speak about me, in Hebrews 12, I am surrounded by a serious cloud of witnesses, and I must lay deviation all weight and the sin that so easily ensnares me [self-absorption, perhaps?] and run beside fortitude the contest that You have set back me. I am to look to Jesus, the essayist and fireman of my faith, not to those who seem to have an easier go than I.

It's as if I detected You speak about me to depress stone after stone. Obediently, I short of and pushed, but could not budge any of the larger ones. Finally, I succumbed to self-pity and exhaustion, and complained I could not transport these rocks. And You said, "Child, I ne'er told you to move the rocks. I told you to push the rocks. And face at all the amount you've improved. Now you're equipped to be of provision to Me."

Oh, Father. I'm ready! I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me!

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